


The Scarlet Hulk

by Chess_Blackfyre



Series: Adventures of the Savage Scarlet Hulk [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Darcy is a Superhero, F/M, Romance, Smitten Steve, Steve is a gentlemen not a virgin, The Avengers totally ship it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-14 22:31:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4582581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chess_Blackfyre/pseuds/Chess_Blackfyre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>New York's Newest superhero sweeps Captain America off his feet.</p><p>Literally.</p><p>Wherein, Darcy Lewis has Gamma superpowers, Steve secretly wants to father her babies, and the Avengers totally ship it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> My first time writing Avengers fanfiction, so don't blame me if it's not the best.
> 
> Also, Unbeta'd, so all the mistakes are mine.

The first time Steve meets New York’s newest superhero, she sweeps him off his feet.

Quite literally.

The Avengers were clearing out an AIM base, this one an underground lab in the middle of Queens, and apparently it was a cybernetics division at that, as they were now making their way through a small army (regiment?) of killer robots.

Steve had ended up fighting a group of them on the roof of the building the lab was run out of, a good fifty floors up. He had just destroyed what he thought was the last of them and check in with his team when another bot managed to get the jump on him and pushed him off the side of the building. Stark was too far away, and Hulk not even in this fight. Captain America had just about resigned himself to his fate when a figure came out of nowhere and grabbed him.

A red angel smiled at him.

Well, to clarify, a gorgeous woman with red skin, curly dark hair, and golden eyes. Very, very pretty golden eyes.

She held him in her arms in a bridal style carry, and they landed on the pavement with a loud thud, his shield clattering after them a few moments later. He stared up at her for a few moments, her thick black curls, yellow eyes, and smiling mouth with straight and pearly white teeth.

“Uh, um,” he cleared his throat. Smooth, punk, real smooth. “You can put me down now.”

“Alright, though most guys wouldn’t be in such a hurry.” She teased, but complied. As he grabbed his shield, he realized that even though she was barefoot, the red woman had broken up the concrete on landing and didn’t have a scratch on her.

“Who-“ before he could even start to ask, another group of killer robots converged on them. Though they were both kind of busy for the next few minutes hitting and throwing said robots, he couldn’t help but try to make conversation.

“So, I’m Captain America. Who might you be?” He asked while decapitating a robot with his shield.

“Name’s Scarlet Hulk, dollface,” he could hear the smile in her voice. Cap turned around just as she ripped a particularly large one in half with her bare hands. “Here to help.” She smiled at him.

He smiled back.

Then she frowned. “On your right!” Karate-chopping another bot in half. His forgotten about comm then rang Hawkeye’s voice in his ear.

“We’re all cleaned up on this end Cap, how about you?” They both looked around briefly. Nope, not a one in sight.

“All clear.” He turned back to Scarlet Hulk, who was putting her hair up into a ponytail. “What are you–”

“Sorry, but I have to get back to work– actual work at my actual job. See you around!” Without another word, she bounded off.

Despite their size, Hulks were surprisingly fast. That’s what he was admiring, not her shapely behind.

Never. 

* * *

 

“So let me get this straight,” Maria Hill raised an eyebrow in disbelief during the team meeting. “You fell from a fifty story building to be caught by a large red woman, who tells you her name is Scarlet Hulk. You fight the AIM robots, and she runs off to make it back to her job.” The agent wasn’t even hiding her disbelief-slash-doubt in his story.

“Well it sounds crazy when you put it that way." Hill just glared, unamused.

“He’s not.” Stark pulled up a video feed from what had to be a nearby traffic cam, indeed showing the new red hulk. It didn’t do her justice.

“And you’re sure she’s an actual Hulk?” Dr. Banner asked, obviously concerned with the idea of another Other Guy (Other Gal?) running around.

“Well, she caught me from a fifty story drop barefoot and ripped up concrete on the landing, and ripped some of the big ones with the chainsaws in half with her bare hands. So, I’m going to go with yes.”

“You could sue her for copyright infringement.” Tony joked, but backed off at Bruce’s brief but definitely unamused glare.

“I’m more interested in how she got her powers.” Because if someone learned how to successfully make more gamma enhanced beings… there would be some major problems to say the least. The Hulk did enough damage on his own and he was one of the good guys.

“That is the question of the hour.” Black Widow stated. “Besides AIM itself, I can name half a dozen people and organizations that would love to get their hands on a hulk–-or learn how to make one. Those that have tried have been… less than successful.” Try gruesome. The unfortunate test subjects either died rather unpleasant, messy deaths, or they became hideous, disfigured monsters that had to be put out of commission. Romanoff honestly wasn’t sure which was worse.

“You think the Scarlet Hulk is someone’s experiment gone wrong?” Tony asked.

“Gone right, and that’s far more worrisome. She’s in complete control of herself, seems to retain all of her intelligence, and obvious super strength.” The physicist seemed almost...jealous. Not that Steve could really blame him. Hell, no one could blame Bruce for being a bit jealous.

Clint spoke up. “Quick question: why is she red instead of green?” Bruce and Tony shrugged.

“Different version of the serum, different level of irradiation… could be one of a hundred different things.”

“Thor, you’ve been pretty quiet, any thoughts?” The Norse god looked up, obviously pondering something important. He was the Prince of Asgard and a whole nine realms. Or maybe he’d just blanked out when Tony started talking. Steve certainly did sometimes.

“Only that it seems that we have gained a powerful new ally.” Steve could tell there was something else pressing in the blonde’s mind, but decided to leave it be for now. As the meeting adjourned, his own thoughts wandered back to the Scarlet Hulk.

Unbeknownst to him, halfway across the country, someone else was doing the exact same thing.

And theirs were far less…harmless.

* * *

 

Major Glenn Talbot entered into General Thaddeus ‘Thunderbolt’ Ross’ office.

“Sir, we have another Hulk sighting.”

The General didn’t even look up from his desk, where he was smoking a cigar. “Banner? He’s no longer a priority, Major."

“Apologies sir, I phrased that wrong. We’ve had a sighting of the other Hulk.” That got Thunderbolt’s attention.

“After four months, finally. Where?”

“Queens, New York City.” He pulled up the video feed. It was shaky, and wasn’t any better than the one Tony Stark had showed his team. (Not that they would know that). “She was seen fighting Advanced Idea Mechanics with the Avengers, specifically Captain Rogers, aka–-"

“I know who he is. I got into this whole mess and lost a star trying to make more like him.” He studied video momentarily. “She’s getting better. Last time she more or less just hit everything in sight.”

“Maybe the Avengers decided to adopt another Hulk.” Talbot suggested, a bit of disgust tinging his voice. Ross decided to ignore it, as his own feelings weren’t too far off.

“Maybe.” There was obvious doubt in his voice. “Keep an eye out for more. You’re dismissed.” Talbot saluted and complied.

General Ross leaned back into his chair. After joining the Avengers, and his heroics during the Battle of New York, Bruce Banner had become a virtual dead end with SHIELD and, more importantly, Tony Stark protecting him. Ross would have a better chance talking to the actual Dr. Erskine.

That was, until the mysterious Scarlet Hulk showed up. No one was sure who she was or where she came from, but one thing was for certain, she was the key to a whole new line of defense.


	2. Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First official date.

The next time Captain America encountered his red angel– _ahem_ , the Scarlet Hulk– there were no villains to be vanquished or foes to be fought. He was just Steve Rogers, and at the time, Steve was just on his usual early morning jog.

 

He was on his third lap around Central Park when he literally finds her sitting in a tree. Just laying against the trunk, feet dangling from the branches. Steve had to blink a couple of times to assure himself it’s actually her and not a trick or delusion. Thankfully, she remains, lounging against the tree and apparently just staring out at the horizon. As he got closer, Steve saw the little white wires peeking out from her hair, indicating she was listening to music on one of those– the hell was the name again?– iPods. He keeps running, and then goes right underneath the tree.

 

She doesn’t even look down.

 

 Disappointed, but not disheartened, Steve keeps going until he’s once again passing by Scarlet’s tree. This time, she looks down at him and smiles. He feels his heart flutter, but in the good way, not the ‘holy hell I can’t breathe’ way that always worried his Ma.

 

_'Stay calm Rogers’_ Steve tells himself. _'Just smile back, stop, and ask what she’s listening to. Not too hard’_. Then something hard and cold impacts his stomach, knocking him off his balance and, more importantly, on his ass. _Smooth, punk, real smooth_ , a voice, sounding suspiciously like Bucky’s chastised him.

 

“Holy crap.” Steve heard her say. His vision swam before going red. He quickly pushed himself back up, only to come face-to-chest with the Scarlet Hulk. 

 

Steve quickly and resolutely turned his attention up to Scarlet’s face, with her full red lips, long dark eyelashes, and wide, concerned golden eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she said when she was sure he hadn’t cracked his head open, “that was kind of my fault wasn’t it?”

 

“Uh,” he cleared his throat, “no, of course not. I’m fine.” Steve assured, the throb in his head already dying down. The one in a much lower part of his anatomy however… _Oh fucking hell. Now? This had to happen **now**?!_

 

“You sure?” She raised an eyebrow, still looking concerned, with eyes glued to his face and thankfully not his nether regions.

 

Like a good Catholic boy, Steve quickly squashed the less than appropriate feeling down before she noticed. “Really, Ms. Scarlet, I’m fine.”

 

“Just Scarlet, dollface,” she gave a soft smile, “Plus, you were doing a rather convincing Road Runner impression at that bench, there’s even a little dent in it.” He looked over. Huh, when had that got there? “Have you had breakfast? Let me buy you breakfast or coffee or something at the very least.”

 

He tried not to sound overeager. “Okay,” he said, smiling. Nailed it. “I know a great little diner only a few blocks from here.”

 

“Awesome.”

 

It was still early enough in the day that there wasn’t really a ton of people out on the streets, and even the ones that were didn’t give the duo more than an inquisitorial glance. They did, however, get an owl-eyed double take from the waitress at the diner itself, but the young woman was polite enough to not stare too much as she took their order.

 

“I’ll have… two orders of pancakes, scrambled eggs, toast and lots of bacon. The apple butter instead of the maple syrup though, that looks yummy. And a tall glass of milk. Steve?” He realized he was staring.

 

“Oh, ah, the same. Eggs sunny side up and regular maple syrup though.”

 

“No need to look at me like that,” she stated after they handed back their menus and the waitress left. “I burn calories like a race-car burns fuel, and you use up a lot of energy based off how much time you spend running around punching things.” He honestly couldn’t tell if she was actually offended or just giving him a hard time. Steve erred on the side of caution.

 

“It’s not that. It’s just… you’re the first women I’ve met who eats as much as I do.”

 

“Yeah, the serum thingy really upped your metabolism and cell growth right?”

 

“How did you-”

 

“I saw before and after pictures of the experiment. Went on some science-y websites where much smarter people than me hypothesized what happened to you.”

 

“Oh,” he responded. They ate in silence for several minutes. He thought of several things to say, then axed them for being too stupid or too personal. Finally, when she finished her bacon, he thought of something. “So, may I ask what you were doing in a tree at that hour?"

 

“I always wanted to climb a tree when I was little, but never had the upper body strength. Now, I’m practically nothing but upper body strength. Doing it early ensured no one would really be around to see me."

 

“I was the same way with motorcycles. Everyone told me that even if I could afford one, I’d probably kill myself on it on the first ride. The army gave me one for free and I ride anther to work everyday.” Scarlet chuckled. “So how did all… this happen? If it’s not prying.” Best get the quick fact finding out of the way. This way, he can honestly tell SHIELD he asked.

 

“No problem dollface. Wrong place at the wrong time. Or right place right time dependent on one’s perspective.” There was obviously a lot more to this story, but he didn’t want to press her.

 

“Why do you keep calling me dollface?” He changed the subject. She shrugged, and took a drink of her milk before speaking.

 

“A: you have a cute face. B: I imagine people actually said that in the forties. And C: because i have seen actual toys of you in stores.” That made him smile. Plus, she did call him cute.

 

“Doll was more common, and mostly to dames– women, I mean.” They had both finished eating by now, and the waitress, again politely not staring, collected their plates and left the bill. Suddenly, a beep went off and Scarlet pulled out her cellphone.

 

“Oh crap, it’s almost nine! I am so sorry, but I have to get to work.” She slapped some money on the table before he could argue about paying himself.

 

“It’s fine-” Please don’t be blowing him off. _Please don’t be blowing him off_.

 

“I know this wasn’t a date but an apology breakfast, but I’d like to go out with you again some time. Next time, we can make it longer.”

 

“Sure,” he reverently thanked a god he rarely prayed to anymore. “Next time.”

 

“Awesome.” She kissed him on the forehead before raving out.

 

“She seemed nice.” The waitress commented with a smile.

 

“Yeah.” Steve lightly touched his forehead, and for a moment, considered never washing that area again for the rest of his life. There was a light, fluttery feeling in his chest he hadn’t felt in a long, long time. “Yes she is.”

                                                                 

* * *

 

Darcy was getting better at picking out clothes. She only had two new rips in her jeans the the bra hook was only slightly bent. Sports bras worked good in theory, but most had a bit less stretch than advertised and more often then not, Darcy would rip them off her body from the sheer discomfort.

 

The reason she had to get better at picking out clothes; unlike a Dr. Bruce Banner, she’d managed to keep her more colorful side under wraps for now and would like to keep it that way for as long as humanly possible, and walking around in nothing but shredded up pants and a bra would draw a lot of attention she didn't want or need.

 

“You’re late.” Jane commented, handing Darcy a coffee.

 

“You have exceedingly loose time schedules. What’s this?”

 

“A non-disclosure agreement from Stark Industries. Iron Man is letting us use his astrophysics labs along with grant money. I need you to look it over and sign it.” After graduating from Culver, Darcy had signed on to be Jane's assistant full time. They had an excellent working relationship, and with the job market being what it was, Darcy would take what she could get doing what she loved with her boss slash best friend.

 

“We’ll work at Avengers Tower?” _Closer to Steve_ , a girlish, middle school part of her brain whispered.

 

“Yep. Stark must like Thor, because he is also offering us free lodging while we play in ‘Candyland’. His words not mine.”

 

“Staying rent free in the same building we’ll work in? Hella yeah."

 

“Darcy, you know this means you’ll have to be even more careful, right? Stark may not work for SHIELD, but they’ll still be around more than usual.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Darcy waved a hand dismissively, hoping that if she stayed calm, Jane would stay calm.

 

“Also, go through the voicemail. I think Erik could’ve left us a few messages while I was sleeping.”

 

“Aww, you went to bed all on your own.”

 

“I’m not a child.”

 

“She says childishly, with a childish pout.”

 

“Anyway, listen to voice mails, review NDA, then help me start packing.”

 

“You’re the Boss Lady.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it!


	3. One Woman Army

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Nick Fury had his scientist defrost Captain America, he really didn't expect to have a conversation with the man about dating a human weapon of mass destruction...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love how much support you've been giving me for this little fic!

Almost needless to say, Director Fury was not pleased that Steve was wooing a rogue Hulk.

 

“With all due respect Captain,” he said, looking at Steve pointedly over the video feed. “We know nothing about this woman, her threat level needs to be assessed.”

 

“I think the good Captain would be much happier assessing her hotness level.” Tony said. He’d been ‘overhearing’ their conversation, refusing to butt out since Steve was having this conversation over his communications system in his building. Fury just rolled his eye.

 

“I understand your concerns sir,” Steve said, “but the Scarlet Hulk has given no indication that she’s a treat. I think that assuming she’s a hostile is a bit premature.”

 

“Which is why you decided to ask her on a date.”

 

“Technically she asked me to breakfast.” The director gave Rogers a look telling him that the smart ass routine wasn’t helping. “Look, when I asked how she got her powers, the Scarlet Hulk stated she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. That means, at the very least, that she didn’t seek the abilities out willingly. That has to mean something.” That bit of info drew Fury’s interest.

 

“Interesting tidbit. It’s a well known fact in the scientific and intelligence community that whoever discovers a way to make more Hulks will be the most dangerous person on the planet, and not to mention the richest, potentially. If your information is correct, and she didn’t do this to herself, then that means someone else had to.”

 

“I’ve surfed all the science chatrooms and listened in on all lab gossip. No one’s claimed credit.” Tony spoke up, for once adding something useful to the conversation.

 

“The question pressing most on my mind however, is whether or not she’s the Hulk’s equal. A way to counter or neutralize Banner the next time his better half takes a turn for the worse.”

 

“We have Veronica for that.” Stark stated. “Plus, there’s no real way to test that without the green and scarlet beauties going head to head. And the last time two gammas had a knock down drag out, Bruce broke Harlem. His words.”

 

Steve had seen the video. It hadn’t been pretty. (Neither was the Abomination.)

 

Fury made a resigned sigh. It was obvious that when he had his scientists unthaw Captain America, he was not expecting to one day have a conversation with the man about courting a human weapon of mass destruction. “Fine, you can date the Scarlet Hulk. But report any new information you have on her back to us. That includes negative behavior, more information on her powers and abilities, her identity, not to mention _specifically_ how in hell she even got like that. Do you understand?”

 

Steve gives a brief nod. “Yes sir.” Fury ended the video call, leaving just him and Stark, who now pops up on the screen and is obviously down in his workshop.

 

“You’re not actually going to tell him all that are you?” he quirked a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. Steve mouths to ask if the line is secure. Tony presses a button, then nods. “Last time I checked, girls hate it when you snoop on them. Girl Hulks probably hate it even more if you snoop on them for a covert intelligence agency.”

 

“Good question.” He’d have to think about it. He’d only just met the Scarlet Hulk after all, if she was a real danger to herself and others, it’s not like he could tell just because they fought together and had a pleasant conversation over breakfast. She did save his life however, and he'd always been a 'actions speak louder than words' kind of guy.

 

On the other hand though, invading a woman’s privacy on the chance she might be a threat–- and threat, by it’s very definition only meant potential danger-- didn't sit well with him.

 

Tony seemed less than pleased with Steve’s response. “Just remember Phase 2. Fury hides, Fury lies. Ross isn’t the only person interested in using the Hulk as a weapon— and SHIELD might not be so selective on which Hulk they use. And how they use her.”  Steve frowned at the thought, remembering how Colonel Phillips wanted to ship him off to a lab after Dr. Erskine died, he knew they weren’t going to try and kill him. The same couldn’t necessarily be said for SHIELD if they decided having two Hulks was too much.

 

* * *

 

“Steven tells me you two have had a date.”

 

Of all the Avengers, it was really no surprise that Thor was the one to find out her secret identity first. Well, less find out and more Darcy turned into the Scarlet Hulk to move around some of the furniture just as Thor walked in.

 

No biggie, they were planning on telling him anyway. Though, what they weren’t expecting was to assure the Asgardian that she wasn’t cursed or half troll or goblin or whatever formerly thought to be mythological creature existed in the Nine Realms.

 

Currently however, they were sitting in the mostly boxed up New York apartment that she and Jane were staying in before getting the invite to the Tower from Stark. They were both eating breakfast cereal.

 

That’s right, a hulk and a god were sitting in an apartment, eating cereal, and talking about her love life. So worth six college credits.

 

“I wouldn’t strictly speaking call it a date. I met him in the park, I accidentally distracted him and he ran into a park bench, so I bought him breakfast. We talked. It was…really nice.”

 

“And?” Darcy was beginning to suspect that instead of Thunder, Thor was the Norse God of Gossip.

 

“I had to get to work, so I asked him if he’d like to have an actual date, kissed him on the forehead, then ran out.” A bit of an impulsive move on her part, but Darcy was starting to notice that her Hulked out form was a bit more impulsive.

 

“That explains why he was grinning from ear to ear this morning. Stark informed him that if it continued for much longer, his face would stick that way. Steve assured me it wouldn’t.”

 

“That definitely sounds like something he would say.” Darcy took a bite of her cereal. Not that she’d ever met the man, but she’d seen enough interviews and press conferences to pick up on the sassy snark that was Tony Stark.

 

“In any case, I approve.”

 

“Huh?” She asked with a mouthful of Captain Crunch.

 

“You and Steven are well suited for another. His quiet strength to your boundless energy, and he already seems to be quite smitten with you.. You are both my shield brethren, and I only wish to see you happy. Besides, before you encountered one another, I got the impression that he was most… lonely.”

 

Darcy just smiled. “Well, thanks big guy.”

 

They ate in silence for a few more minutes.

 

“Ear to ear huh?”

 

“For almost three hours straight.”


	4. Meeting of the Hulks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slime monsters, Scarlet Hulk and Regular Hulk meet, and there's a date

Every once and awhile, Dr. Bruce Banner liked to stop and reflect on how the hell his life got to this point. Where had it all gone wrong?

 

Was it when he changed his major from experimental to nuclear physics? Teaching at Culver instead of Harvard or Princeton, where he met Betty Ross and by extension her father? Or when the General had shown him some of Erskine’s research and told him to do better?

What usually prompted these little reflections was when he was about to do something he would normally consider to be insane. Like purposefully falling out of a military helicopter or charging into battle against aliens coming out of a hole in the sky.

 

This time, he was about to Hulk out to try and stop a slime monster from eating (dissolving?) the Chrysler building.

 

That was his life now.

 

“Hi.” He was startled by the unexpected voice. Turning around, he was more surprised by who was talking to him.

 

The Scarlet Hulk.

 

“Um, hi.” He responded. He noticed with curiosity that her eyes were gold, and not red. She was dressed in a black tank top and athletic shorts.

 

“So, you must be Dr. Banner.” She smiled, making small talk.

 

“What gave it away?” He said dryly.

 

“I went to Culver. Also, who else would be on a rooftop with their shirt off staring at a giant slime monster?” Who indeed?

 

“I have so many questions, but we should probably deal with the, you know.” He initiated the change. Soon enough, there was a good eight feet of green gamma in front of her.

“Girl Hulk?" The Big Green blinked, looking confused.

 

"Yep, I'm like you, big guy. Just more... Primary color." She gestured to herself. He grunted.

 

"Girl Hulk fight Hulk?" He snarled, remembering his last encounter with someone like him. Darcy remembered seeing the news footage, the Abomination certainly living up to his name.

 

“No, I’m a friend. Or at least, I want to be. But for now, we have that thing to pummel.” He nodded.

 

“Hulk—“

 

“—SMASH!” As one, they jumped off the roof and into the fray.

* * *

 

“Slime monsters. Why did it have to be slime monsters?” Darcy muttered as she scrubbed her still red skin. After joining up with the Incredible Hulk to pound what looked like an exponentially overgrown version of her grandma’s jello mold come to life into the dust and down the sewers, she realized she was in desperate need of a shower, and possibly a fire pit to burn her clothes.

 

“Decontamination is almost done, Miss Scarlet. Merely wait a few more moments.” The voice in the ceiling told her. Because, yeah, there was a voice coming from the ceiling. Stark Tower was so awesome.

 

"Um, here." He handed her the clothes. She smiled, taking them. They were SHIELD issue post incident sweats that would probably fit her. Natasha had offered with a smirk to get her a SHIELD women's uniform. And as much as Steve would love to see the Scarlet Hulk in one of those skin tight catsuits, he elected to go with the sweats.

 

"Thanks." Steve turned around as she changed, having flashbacks to his USO tour with the showgirls. He really needed something to think about besides the gorgeous naked woman changing right behind his back.

 

"Quick question: are you angry right now?” That just kind of slipped out.

 

She blinked, not that he saw. "Uh, more ticked off than anything. Those were my favorite pair of shorts. Sucks because it's tough to find clothes that I can comfortably Hulk out in."

 

"Oh, because you're still red, so I kinda thought..."

 

"Oh the whole ‘don’t make me angry’ thing. I’m pretty sure my powers aren’t really tied to my emotions. Don't ask me why, it'd be like asking you how the super serum worked. Okay, safe to look.” She managed to pull off bland grey sweats pretty good.

 

"So, about our date..." He started.

 

"Not getting cold feet are you?" She quirked an eyebrow.

 

“No. I’m gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night…and I’m kind of nervous about it, actually. It’s interesting.” Considering she was the one that suggested they go out again on an actual date…yes, yes it was.

 

“Oh, well, if it helps at all, I’m gonna say yes.”

 

“Yeah, it helps. It-it creates a comfort zone.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Do you want to go out with me tomorrow night?”

 

Scarlet Hulk smiled. "That sounds nice, what did you have in mind?"

 

"I know this great little Italian place, how about we meet in front of the tower at around 6:30 tomorrow night?”

 

“Are you going to drive us on your motorcycle?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then also yes.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Look at you, you’re wearing lady clothes.” Jane patronized. She made an exaggerated sniff. “You even showered, you smell nice.”

 

“I know your point to all this, and that it is you holding a grudge.” She kind of deserved it for interrupting Jane’s date with Richard, though at the time, the fate of the nine realms was kind of in the balance. Not that either of them knew that at the time, but you know, details.

 

“Yes, yes it is. And it feels good.”

 

“Now we’ve gotten petty revenge out of the way,” Darcy gathered her hair up into a loose ponytail “Up or down?”

 

“I say up, more formal.” Jane suggested. Which was weird cause this was way outside her area of expertise.

 

“Up it is.” She went to the bathroom to smooth out the pony before putting the rubber band in, letting a few curls down to frame her face. Make up was done, eyeliner and mascara with some black lipstick she found at the bottom of her make-up case (probably from Halloween). Clothes were chosen, a simple white and yellow sundress with new(ish) Chuck Taylors. Hey, she was a giant gamma monster, not like she could afford actual high heels.

 

“Well, I’m off. Wish me luck.”

 

“Get lucky Darcy!” Jane teased. The assistant rolled her eyes with a smile before heading out the door.

 

* * *

 

 He really shouldn’t have told Natasha he had a date. Not that he regretted that he had a date because _god_ no, more like he just regretted casually informing the Yenta super-spy without thinking.

 

Why was he regretting that little gem slip? Because she all but dragged him to a hairdresser, then tore through his wardrobe saying no to almost everything before deciding on a blue button down and black khakis for his date, even laying them out on his bed and telling him to take a shower.

 

Steve hadn’t had clothes picked out for him since the sixth grade.

 

Feeling for his keys, he’d found a notecard in his pocket. Natasha’s elegant handwriting informed him of things to talk about if there was a large lull in conversation or an awkward silence.

 

 _Possible topics of conversation: Music likes/dislikes, places you’ve traveled, most ridiculous bad guy_ (for that he’d argue Von Doom). _Her friends._

_Things to Avoid: Past boyfriends/girlfriends,_

 

He was going to crumple it up and throw it away, but decided to leave it in his back pocket.

 

Just in case.

 

Hey, a good soldier always had a back up plan.

 

“Hey!” She greeted.

 

“Hi.” He smiled, really looking forward to getting to know this amazing woman.

 

* * *

 

They arrived at the restaurant a few minutes later. The motorcycle ride had been just as fun as Darcy had hoped, and that was only the beginning of the date.

 

Steve actually pulled out her chair for her like a gentlemen before sitting down himself. They chatted a bit before the waiter brought them their menus. She liked everything except country, recommending bands such as Queen and The Rolling Stones (he obviously put them on the List). She leaned more towards Mole Man for the most ridiculous villain award, but picked Von Doom as a first runner up.

 

“What would you recommend?” She asked, looking over her selections. Darcy hoped he would pick up that it was code for ‘I know you’re paying and don’t want for you to end up resenting me by getting something pricy’. Steve glanced at the menu for a second. “Well, their pasta is always really good. And if you get the Friday special, that’s soup, salad and breadsticks along with the rigatoni.”

 

“Sounds great.” She smiled. It was a nice smile, Steve couldn’t help but think.

 

They chatted a bit in-between bites of pasta and salad. Steve finished his meal first, then politely waited for the Scarlet Hulk to finish hers.

 

“Not to be rude or anything,” she said after swallowing. “But it’s a little weird for you to just sit there watching me eat.”

 

“Oh. Sorry.” Steve redirected his gaze to the tablecloth. He heard Scarlet Hulk give a humorless chuckle.

 

“Who knew Captain America was secretly this awkward?” She asked under her breath. He couldn't disagree with her.

 

"So, does anyone else know about your... Condition?"

 

"You say that like it's a bad thing." She took another breadstick. "And to answer your question, my boss and a few friends. Makes things easier that way.”

 

"Do they have any opinion on you running out to save the day?"

 

"He's supportive. She wants to be, but can't help but worry. We're not actually sure how... Hulk-ish I actually am. I mean, I am red instead of green, so…”

 

"You seem pretty hulking. Not that you're big. But you are, strong and red. And really beautiful-" he started blabbering. She chuckled before mercifully shoving a hand over his mouth. Her skin was warm. It was…really nice.

 

"Moving onto a subject less likely to give you apoplexy, what's it like, being an Avenger?" Steve shrugged.

 

"It's good, we always have each other's backs. Always great to have a team you can count on.” His mind started to wander back to the Howling Commandoes. Steve stopped that train of thought before it could begin. He was on a lovely date with a beautiful woman, no need to muck things up by depressing himself and thinking about the past.

 

"It'd be nice, having a team, but I'm kind of a one-woman army, you know." Weapon of mass destruction had been thrown around in some of the analysis reports.

 

An idea formed in his mind. "You could always join the Avengers." He managed to say in what he hoped sounded casual. That way, they could see more of each other.

 

He knew he did something wrong though when she suddenly frowned. Hard.

 

Darcy forced herself to be calm, he probably just meant it as a friendly suggestion. "No way," she decided. "Not interested in working for SHIELD."

 

His mind went blank. "Why?" They worked so well together…

 

"Let's just say, they did something to seriously tick me and my best friend off, and I trust them about as far as you can throw the Hulk." Whatever Steve would have said to that was interrupted when the waiter brought them their bill.

 

“So, wanna go Dutch or…?” Darcy suggested, obviously in a slightly better mood now that they were no longer actually talking about this.

 

“No, I’ll pay.” He objected. “I was the one who asked you out after all.” After settling the bill with the waiter, Steve offered to drop her off back at her place instead of the Tower. She accepted, and the ride was mostly silent besides Scarlet Hulk giving the occasional directions. Even with the semi awkward silence, he walked her up to the door.

 

“Oh, uh, besides me putting my foot in my mouth, this was nice…right?” He asked, hoping he hadn’t permanently messed things up.

 

Scarlet was digging through her purse for her keys but stopped and looked up. “Actually, yeah. I had a nice time.” Considering her last romantic encounter was an alien invasion with some making out…yeah.

 

“Wanna go out again next Friday? I know this great shawarma place.”

 

“Oh, no, I can’t.” She sighed, a hand to her forehead. “My boss has a…thing in Chicago, and I kind of have to go with her.”

 

“Oh. How long are you going to be gone?” No missing the disappointment there.

 

“About a week or so.” She shrugged. "We leave tomorrow afternoon."

 

“So…bye then.”

 

“Bye.” She grabbed Steve’s shoulder and spun him around, giving the super-soldier a proper kiss. No tongue, just a nice, warm peck. Too soon, she was gone.

 

For a moment, Steve stood there, completely awestruck, and holding his hand over his mouth, wondering what the hell he did to deserve this beautiful, intelligent, wonderful woman in his life.

 

He couldn't wait until he could see her agin. Well, he could wait. He was, after all, the world's leading authority on the subject. He just didn't want to.

 


	5. Hulkbusters

 The morning after his date, Steve walked in on a surprisingly dour looking Stark, the genius staring at his computer, looking deep in thought. Why exactly he was visiting Stark in his workshop? He and the (sometimes) mad scientist were working on some sort of a 'callback' system for his shield, that would be useful in battle. Early tests have been promising.

 

"Something wrong?" Steve asked, a bit concerned.

 

"Normal military bullshit." Stark sighed. "You know how Banner was on the run after General Thunderthighs practically declared his body property of the U.S. Military? Well, now it looks like they're trying to do the same thing with his lovely red counterpart." There was a knock on the door.

 

"Coffee?" Dr. Jane Foster entered the lab holding a pot of the stuff. Steve liked Dr. Foster, even if she did come off as a bit...out there at times. Reminded him of the pulp science novels he would read as a kid.

 

"Since when do you handle coffee, Foster? I thought that was your lovely assistant's job."

 

"Normally yes, but the spectrometer is taking awhile to collate the data, and I needed something to do.”

 

"Sure," Tony held out his mug. "Anyway, Thunderpants-- or, one of his underlings, more accurately-- asked that the next time Scarlett O'Hara helps us out, that we inform them so they can have a little chat." Dr. Foster offered Steve coffee as well, and he took some just to be polite.

 

"And I suppose when they say chat, they mean--"

 

"Shoot her up with elephant tranquilizers then poke and prod at her in labs to try and figure out how they can destroy and/or make Hulks. Maybe even a full on dissection." Stark mused absently.

 

Neither one of them saw Jane Foster flinch as she left the workshop.

 

"Please tell me you turned them down." Tony looked almost offended at Steve’s lack of faith in him.

 

"Don't worry, I was just deciding whether to just spam his servers with porn, or have Pepper fuck them sideways with paperwork or injunctions or whatever."

 

" _Miss Lewis has a potential solution Sir_ ," Jarvis spoke up, " _and inquires if you still have those pictures of the Hulk nude.”_

 

Tony gave a manic grin. "Tell Lewis I love the way she thinks!" Steve just rolled his eyes.

 

“ _I will relay the message Sir.”_ The AI sounded…begrudgingly amused.

 

"When did you-- wait, I probably don't want to know."

 

"Beach day, Steve-O, beach day."

 

* * *

 

During the next week, Steve had no missions or meetings to go to. Just when he wanted SHIELD to keep him busy with something, his schedule was infuriatingly and mind-numbingly clear.

 

So, he went to the movies, did some grocery shopping, crossed off a couple things off his list, and did some basic maintenance on his bike. All in all, a pretty productive Monday.

 

Yeah, he was pretty much screwed until next Friday. Tony had once accused him of being practically married to the job, and that wasn’t entirely false. SHIELD was the best way he could help people besides the Avengers, and keeping his mind and body busy was the best way to avoid the bottomless pit of emotional despair that seemed to follow him.

 

So instead of focusing on said emotional despair, Steve thought about the Scarlet Hulk. He sketched her a couple of times, mostly from memory, though others he based off of pictures from the internet. Sometimes, Steve wondered how much she looked like in her human form. Steve could make out some features of Bruce Banner in the Incredible Hulk, so it stood to reason the Scarlet Hulk wasn't too drastically changed (besides being big and red, obviously). He wondered if she was just as beautiful. Not that he would be disappointed or care at all really if she wasn’t. Despite what Bucky, his Ma, and the nice ladies at his church told him, Steve hadn’t really considered himself much of a catch back in the day, and knew that a lot of dames thought something similar. Deep down, he still thought of himself as that little guy from Brooklyn who was too terrified to ask a girl to dance, and sometimes honestly wondered what someone as lively and outgoing as the Scarlet Hulk would be interested in him.

 

Well, he could understand her liking Captain America, he was strong and sure and always in control. Steve Rogers was a retired army captain with no idea of what he wanted to do with his life. Yet Scarlet seemed more interested in him anyway.

 

That line of thought brought him to the idea of doubles. Specifically, Scarlet Hulk's dual identity and his lack of knowledge about it. It’s not that he wasn’t interested in her other half, far from it, it’s just he didn’t want to help any ‘interested party’ (he shuddered to think who those people were) get their hands on Scarlet Hulk and make her life harder than it already was.

 

It was Thursday when he'd moved onto watercolors, more abstracts of her in battle. She wasn't really trained, more had a policy of just smashing everything while bantering with him and occasionally giggling maniacally.

 

That was when he got the text.

 

 _Scarlet Hulk in trouble. Extraction needed. Borrowing the Quinnjet. Suit up._ Something told him this wasn't an official SHIELD mission. Like him, Black Widow had more of a ‘better to beg forgiveness than ask permission’ policy.

 

 _Be there soon._ He responded.

 

Suited up, shield in hand, he got there within ten minutes of the message.

 

"What's the situation?" He asked, sitting down. Hawkeye had tagged along as well as.

 

“The Scarlet Hulk stopped a bank robbery in Chicago. Just when she handed them over to the police, the citizens of the East side started freaking out at the sight of out red friend. Police have yet to intervene.” Natasha sounded vaguely disapproving as they lifted off.

 

“New Yorkers see her all the time and they don't freak out."

 

“Unlike New Yorkers, they haven’t gotten used to all the weird yet.”

 

“Sometimes I’m not used to all the weird, you don’t see me with pitchforks and torches.” Hawkeye muttered.

 

“What?” Steve asked, honestly confused.

 

“That’s not the only thing," Natasha interrupted. "chatter on military frequencies tell us that General Ross is planning on dropping in too, and he’s probably not going to be quite as friendly as us.”

 

“ _Ross aye, I’ve been waiting for the chance to go up against his Hulkbuster_ s.” A familiar voice came over the comms. Looking out the jet windows, Steve saw Iron Man flying next to the jet, and keeping speed.

 

“What are you doing here?” Steve asked the genius billionaire. “Can’t you be off building something?”

 

“And miss the chance to finally meet your gamma girlfriend? No way.” Steve took a calming breath and refused to think of all the embarrassing things that could happen if the billionaire met the Scarlet Hulk. “Don’t worry, Cap, I’ll let you have the daring rescue. This time.”

 

“Um, thanks? But—“

 

“You want to save your girl. I get that.” They had a brief moment of complete understanding. “Besides, _You wanna have her babies~_.” Tony sang. “ _Little red gamma enhanced babies~”_

“That’s not even biologically possible.” Steve frowned.

 

“Fine. _You wanna father her babies~ Adorable hulky babies~”_ It continued as such until they reached Chicago. Additional lyrics included athletic babies, blondie babies, and raising a horde of hulks.

 

Steve barely suppressed the urge to slam his head against the Quinjet wall. Repeatedly.

* * *

 

Scarlet Hulk smashed into the garbage when she tripped over the cans in the alleyway.

 

“God in Heaven!” A woman screamed.

 

“Kill it! Kill it before it kills us!” Demanded a man.

 

“Fuck my life.” Was all they were yelling at muttered as the mob chased her with pitchforks and torches.

 

I shit you not, pitchforks and torches. Where the fuck in Chicago do you get _pitchforks_ and _torches_? Honestly…

 

Now, realistically, she could rip through them like cotton candy, but she didn’t _want_ to rip through them like cotton candy. What she wanted was to go home, eat a box of Poptarts, then curl up on the couch with a certain blonde super-soldier if she could.

 

But, you know, _angry mob_.

 

They had her backed into an alleyway (so cliché) when Scarlet Hulk heard the familiar whirl of police sirens. Hopefully, Chicago’s finest finally decided to show up. And based off the big green helicopter, the military as well.

 

**Fuck all kinds of duck.**

 

“Make way! Police coming through!”

 

With the boys in blue came three people in combat uniforms, two with helmets, and one guy with a blonde mustache. All three of them were holding giant guns (because those just calm everything right down).

 

The mustache guy looked to be in charge and spoke first. “Hmph, right then missy. I hope you’re not planning on putting up a fight. Those guns are calibrated to deal with people like you. One blast, and you’re down for the count.”

 

“Wait! I can explain everything!” Darcy tried to defend herself.

 

General Lorax pulled out a pair of thick handcuffs, Adamantium probably, and walked towards her. “Let me guess, lofty schemes, grand experiments, the best intentions gone awry? Heard it all before.” It was then that the whirl of some kind of engine could be heard, and the crowd parted like the red sea for a man with an A on his forehead.

 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing here? This is strictly Hulkbuster business. You can’t just—“

 

“Well good evening to you, General Ross, good to see you again. As for why I’m here, it’s actually quite simple. You see, I was hoping to have a conversation with a certain young lady. Her, to be precise.” Lady? Darcy certainly didn’t feel like a lady, sitting in some garbage wearing a ratty t-shirt with her hair probably a mess.

 

“Watch yourself Captain,” One of the Hulkbusters warned. “Don’t come any closer.”

 

“Why not?” He asked, a slight cock to his head, making look positively puppy-like, even with the cowl still on.

 

“The thing’s a ferocious animal.” Darcy narrowed her eyes. She sure as hell was _not_ an animal—outside of spring break, but that’s another story entirely.

 

“She doesn’t look ferocious.”

 

“Maybe not now, but she sure as hell was tearing up the whole street a few minutes ago.” Ross crossed his arms.

 

“You and I both know that Hulks only attack people when we threaten them first. Not to suggest that the good people of the East Side look threatening…” He glanced over at the literal pitchforks and torches. “But I think you can see how their hospitality could be…misinterpreted.”

 

“And maybe if she was out sunbathing in the middle of Sahara, she’d be just fine. But this is America for Christ’s sake. If she goes on a rampage every time she gets spooked by a little hostility, we’ll be hauling off body bags by the dozen on a daily basis. These creatures could never be trusted out on their own.”

 

“Yet Dr. Banner’s been with the Avengers for, oh, how long now?”

 

“Also,” Darcy spoke up. “I’ve been here sittin’ pretty for the last few minutes while you had big ass guns pointed at my face and everyone still has all their limbs so…yeah.”

 

“Don’t test me missy. Look, even if your girl sprouted wings and a halo I still couldn’t let her off the hook! This street didn’t just tear itself apart.”

 

“Not to worry, I think I have a solution that will satisfy everyone.”

 

Ross looked like he didn’t believe Captain America. “And that would be?”

 

“First, make sure miss Scarlet Hulk doesn’t catch anything from sitting in the trash for so long.” He offered his hand, and Darcy gladly took it. “Secondly, I would call in one of my associates, Mr. Stark, to take care of all Hulk-related damages to the neighborhood. Won’t cost the city a dime.” He walked up to one of the police officers in charge. “Should there be a trash bin out of place, you can report the problem to the Stark Restoration Foundation at this number.” He handed over a card. “Finally, I would take personal responsibility for the Scarlet Hulk. She’ll be kept under the watchful eye of the Avengers.” It was then that Iron Man and the Quinjet made an appearance. Hovering over the ground in a semi non-threatening manner, though in a way that said if Ross engaged, they wouldn't back down.

 

Ross narrowed his eyes. “You won. This time.” Like any half decent general, Ross knew when to retreat. Neither Hulk nor Captain suspected it would stay that way for long though.

 

“Madame, your chariot awaits.” He escorted her to the jet.

 

“Well aren’t you a real Prince Charming.” She smiled before climbing on.


	6. Shenanigins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting college soon, so chapter updates won't be as frequent or regular.
> 
> I'm not entirely satisfied with this chapter, but something's better than nothing right?

Darcy waited until the Quinjet lifted off before giving Captain America a hug. “Thank you for getting me out of there.” She smiled softly, her eyes closed. He was so warm and smelled really good, a mix of leather and metal and something distinctly _Steve_ that she just figured out but already couldn’t get enough of.

 

“Um, Scarlet—“

 

“Hm?” She blinked, then looked down and realized why Hawkeye and Black Widow were barely holding in laughter. With their respective heights, Steve’s face was buried right between her breasts. “Oh.” She reluctantly let go.

 

Steve managed to hold out for a good five seconds before passing out on the floor.

 

“And posted.” Tony had been recording the whole thing on his StarkPhone. “Five thousand views already.”

 

“Should we…?”

 

“He’ll wake up soon enough.” Tony waved a dismissive hand. Even so, the Scarlet Hulk leaned Steve against the side of the Quinjet and put a blanket over him.

 

“Sweet dreams.” She whispered, kissing his forehead again.

 

* * *

 

The Quinjet touched down a short while later, and ever since then, Scarlet Hulk had been trying to leave. Hawkeye and Black Widow already left, but not before Nat had a conversation with the young Hulk about her intentions with their fearless leader. While said fearless leader was still passed out, by the way. (50 million views an hour in). Steve, embarrassed at passing out, had run off to do...patriotic stuff (Tony honestly had no idea what Steve did when he wasn't working for SHIELD or Avenging. He should probably check up on that).

 

‘Um…not it's totally fine, my place isn't too far away any--"

 

“Please, we both know you already moved in here with Foster.” Iron Man said when he was certain no one else was around. Scarlet Hulk looked up. He smiled. “I know who you are, Ms. Lewis. You may have everyone else fooled, but JARVIS is...JARVIS.” Scarlet Hulk’s eyes narrowed, and she walked over, towering above Tony by a couple feet.

 

“What do you want?” She said in her most intimidating voice. And anyone will tell you, Hulks pull off intimidating without even trying. When they put the effort in…well, let’s just say it’s a good thing Tony’s suit has a filtration system.

 

“Nothing. Well, nothing except you help out Brucie with Hulk stuff from time to time, and go on thawing out the good Capsicle. He’s been in a much better mood since you two started going out.” He was a grown man in control of his own bladder, he was a grown man in control of his own bladder…

 

“And you’re not planning on telling anyone about this?” She raised an eyebrow.

 

"Little old anti-authority me? Pshaw, no. Widow's probably going to figure it out sooner rather than later, but Cap's probably itching to get to know your other, less colorful half. Because...probably romantical reasons that'll make me barf if I think about it."

 

"That's funny coming from you." Darcy smiled. Tony decided to ignore that for now. “Since there are still people around, it's probably for the best I not go back to my room until the Scarlet Hulk publicly leaves. If I can’t go back to my room, what’s the comfiest couch to crash on?”

 

Tony just had a manic smile.

 

* * *

 

 

They found the Incredible Bruce Banner face down at his desk in the lab, using a notebook as a pillow. As the Hulk was not needed, Bruce stayed behind at the lab.

 

“Hey, Scarlet Hulk’s here, can she crash in your bedroom?”

 

The physicist mumbles something sounding distinctly like “Pfazza mula bhygtat _with cellular mitosis_ …” Bruce Banner was not a social butterfly. Satisfied enough with his answer, Tony pointed the other Hulk into an adjoining room. It contained a comfortable looking queen sized bed (Because Bruce asked for something simple and Tony’s a bro like that) and a bedside table with a lamp.

 

"Okay thanks." She smiled. Tony just left with a smile.

 

* * *

Waking up sometime the next morning, Bruce stumbled into the bedroom, intent on changing his clothes before going on with his research. He was unbuttoning his shirt when he blearily noticed something.

 

The Scarlet Hulk was sleeping in his bed.

 

The  _Scarlet Hulk_ was  _sleeping_ in his  _bed._

 

Bruce blinked a couple of times, and then rubbed his eyes, but still the vision persisted. Backing out of the lab bedroom, he walked, then sped walked to Iron Man’s lab.

 

“Tony…” He asked, very insistent.

 

“Yep?” He turned up his welder’s mask.

 

“Why is the Scarlet Hulk sleeping in my bed?”

 

"We came back late. She needed a place to crash." Bruce opened his mouth, but Tony beat him too it. "Hey, I asked. You said yes."

 

"I don't remember that."

 

"You were face down in a notebook at the time. But you made an affermative-sounding noise." He poke his head into Bruce's lab. "Rise and shine sleepy head." Tony called.

           

“Hi Dr. B.” Scarlet yawned and stretched. He looked away. "Whaddaya need?"

 

“So, we’re just going to do some simple medical tests. If anything makes you feel uncomfortable…just let me know.”

 

“Where do you buy your pants?” She all but demanded, albeit in a (somewhat) polite and friendly tone.

 

“…what?”

 

“Look, in every battle, no matter what else gets shredded, your pants stay intact. So where do you buy your pants? And would that store have a ladies’ department?”

 

“I…have no idea what to say to that.” He conceded, breaking eye contact and looking at literally anything else besides the red woman.

 

“Well, until you do, what first doc? I’m all yours.”

 

In the end, it wasn’t that different from going to the doctors. Dr. Banner took a few blood samples, some measurements and basic questions about her general health and well being. There was one question wherein he asked if she was still regular with her cycle. Scarlet answered yes, politely ignoring that Bruce was beet red.

 

“Blood pressure is slightly elevated, but your heart rate is within normal limits. If it’s okay, I’d like to take a brain scan.”

 

“Okay,” She smiled. Dr. Banner seemed nice, if a bit squirlley (which was completely understandable given, well, everything). So she felt completely comfortable with that.

 

“Is it just me, or do you get really hungry whenever you change back?” She made by way of conversation while she was backed into the white machine.

 

“Starving.” Bruce agreed, looking at the read outs.

 

“Any clue why that is?”

 

“If my theory’s correct, our bodies have essentially become miniaturized gamma reactors. Reactors need fuel.” As Bruce's brain ran with that (hello, genius) Tony wandered back it. And he looked like he had an idea.

 

“So, Hulk lady, I was wondering how much can you lift?” He had a manic smile. Scarlet Hulk’s face slowly spread into a mad Cheshire grin.

 

* * *

 

They were in the elevator when Pepper felt it. “Jarvis, redirect the elevator down to wherever Tony is.”

 

_“Right away Miss Potts.”_

 

“What is it?” Happy asked.

 

Pepper had no way to describe it really, but it was a finely honed form of ESP cultivated from years of working with one Anthony Edward Stark. It’s purpose was fairly narrow, but by no means useless: she could sense when Tony was doing or about to do something exceedingly reckless and stupid. More so than usual, and that was saying something.

 

“I sense a disturbance in the force.” Because that was the only way to really describe it.

 

“Hey, Pepper.”

 

What she walked into was a scene of almost utter chaos, not dissimilar to the Mandarin’s attack on the house. There were piles of smoking debris and the white fire extinguisher foam everywhere, both Tony and Dr. Banner holding the bright red canisters. In the center of it all, was the Scarlet Hulk, looking decidedly amused, even while she was covered in said white foam.

 

“What happened?” Pepper demanded.

 

“Me and Bruce were just seeing how much the little lady could bench press,”

 

“We were up to 100 tons when the machine broke.” Said ‘little’ lady smiled. “I’m the Scarlet Hulk, by the way.” She gave a little wave.

 

“I could tell. How about you go get cleaned up while me and the boys have a chat.” Scarlet nodded, wrapped herself in a lab coat and left for the showers.

 

* * *

 

Darcy met up with Jane in the lobby, the mousy haired scientist carrying her boxes back from Chicago. Saying nothing, Darcy helped with the boxes.

 

The astrophysicist sniffed, noticing her assistant smelled like flame retardant. “I’m sensing shenanigans.” Jane quirked an eyebrow.

 

“So. Many. Shenanigans.” Darcy laughed as they entered the elevator.

 

Steve heard the Scarlet Hulk’s laugh, and rounded the corner to see a flash of brown curls as the elevator doors closed.

 

Well, he had always liked strong-willed brunettes, Steve thought with a smile.


	7. Gala Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Working out together is totally a couples' activity, Darcy has nothing to wear, oh and there's a ball in there somewhere.

The next afternoon, he found Scarlet Hulk in the gym. She was lifting weights and singingly along to a song she was listening to on her iPod.

 

“Hi.” He greeted.

 

“Hi yourself.” She took out her earbuds. “You can spot me if you want.” He was planning on getting some gymnastics training done, but he’d much rather spend time with his best girl. He smiled a bit at that thought. Less than a month ago he'd been tired and more than just a bit angry with the world for moving a long without him. Things were brighter when she was around, more hopeful. She had such an infectious smile, how could he not brighten up just a bit? “Sure. What are you at?” She glanced over at the weights.

 

“Uh, about a metric ton. That’s the most the bar can handle.” Steve wasn’t jealous. You’d think he’d be, but he really wasn’t. Scarlet was a _Hulk_ , with that came the kind of strength that made actual _gods_ wet their pants a bit. He'd just have to impress her in other ways.

 

“So, more endurance work then strength training?” He surmised, going into position.

 

“Precisely. Kind of like normal people with those five pound dumbbells.” She smirked. He wondered if she was showing off for him. It made sense, he would show off for her if she wasn’t a hulk and just plain old…okay, he really has to ask for her real name at some point. Or a nickname. Definitely something other than Scarlet and Hulk. Then again, maybe her first name actually was Scarlet, it certainly would make things simpler. He thought about decent ways to bring it up while he spotted her. Totally thinking about that and definitely  _not_ thinking about the way her heavenly bosom heaved as she lifted ten times his body weight.

 

Definitely not. That would be rude. (But he would be taking a cold shower later).

 

“…Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred.” Scarlet finished with a sigh. "Your turn soldier boy, impress me." He decided to show off for his girl by maneuvering through a complex obstacle course--shirtless. He wasn't blind, he knew the way women had looked at him after the serum. But he wanted to hold out for someone who looked deeper than that. Peggy, of course, had looked before the muscles were in the way.

 

Scarlet was different from Peggy, that much was obvious. Scarlet Hulk was bright and energetic, and held nothing back. Peggy was always put together, even in the middle of a war, and always held a quiet strength about her, even at her most riled up still held an air of civility. They were different. Not better or worse, just...different.

 

There was no missing the appreciative look in Scarlet Hulk's eye when he was done, though she did in a way that didn't make him feel like a piece of meat at the market. Unbeknownst to him, Scarlet Hulk had spent half her life feeling the same way, and appreciated people looking deeper just as much as he did.

 

“By the way, I've been meaning to ask," She said, after he took a gulp of water and they were about to break for the showers, "what did you mean exactly when you told Ross I'd be under the protection of the Avengers Initiative?"

 

“Right, about that,” Steve reached into his gym bag. He'd been carrying this around, wanting to give it to her himself. “Everyone agreed, the world needs heroes, and you're definitely one of them. Though you’re only a junior member—meaning you don’t automatically get called out on assemble orders, only on request— you’re definitely a member of the team.” He offered her an official Avengers ID card. She smiled at him.

 

“Awesome.” She looked at the card with obvious gratitude. "And SHIELD?"

 

"Officially has no authority over you or Dr. Banner. You're free to go and do whatever you please--within reason, of course."

 

"Of course." Darcy bit her lip as she put the card in her back pocket. Steve gathered his nerve, now was as good a time as any.

 

“You know, we've fought together, gone on two dates, and I just realized that I still don't know your name." Asking for a hero's secret identity was a big deal, he knew, but how else was their relationship supposed to progress? And he wanted it too, so bad. As probably one of the world’s foremost experts on waiting too long, Steve knew a good opportunity when he saw one, and wasn’t about to let it just slip through his fingers. Not again.

 

 _Never_ again.

 

Darcy blinked before responding. This...this was big. Being an Avenger was one thing. This was a whole other kettle of fish. Then again, Steve was...nice. Smart, handsome, kind, thoughtful; he was her every adolescent crush on crack. But giving him her name invited him into her actual life… Scarlet Hulk was bold, brash, and confident. Darcy Lewis was flawed, and she knew that.

 

What if Steve only liked Scarlet?

 

Her thoughts must be appearing on her face, as he took her hand reassuringly and said: "Hey, it's okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

 

Darcy smiled softly. "How the hell do you do that?"

 

"Do what?" Steve asked, cocking his head to the side. (Seriously, the man was a human Labrador).

 

"Know the just right thing to say to make me feel better." She tucked some hair behind her ear.

 

"I honestly have no idea. Outside of work I usually have no idea how to talk to dames--women." Dammit, why the hell did he just admit that?

 

“No, that’s fair. We’ve been on a couple of dates, and I’m sort of an Avenger now, that means we have to have team trust and stuff, but I still haven’t introduced you to my…tinier half. If you’d like to meet her, me, whatever, I know Stark’s hosting that fairy tail ball thing for the Maria Stark Foundation this weekend. We could hang out. Free food.”  


“I’d love to.” Steve rushed. “Though I was under the impression that it was an invitation only party.”

 

“It is. But he throws those things out like parade candy. I think I even saw him give the janitor one…”

 

“If you really want to, I'd be happy to escort you...Mi'lady." Scarlet snort-giggled. It was adorable.

 

* * *

 

 

"What's got you riled up Rogers? It's just a little schmoozing and boozing you should be used to it by now."

 

"I'm escorting Scarlet Hulk."

 

"I'm sensing an 'and' here."

 

"I can't dance.” He admitted. Much to his surprise and relief, Tony didn’t laugh or start making fun of him. Instead he just looked…thoughtful.

 

“Talk to Romanoff, she can at least teach you a basic box step or whatever.”

 

Turns out, Natasha got scary focused when Steve asked her to teach him. And it was going to be  _way_ more than a basic box step. “I once spent two months posing as a dance instructor, one of the few times my cover was more interesting than the assignment." Steve gave a feint smile, Natasha was getting better at that, opening up to people. Well, him, but you know.

 

"Okay, we'll start with waltzing, then move on from there." She showed him a basic box step. He repeated it well enough. The trouble came when they did it together. Luckily, Natasha wore steel-toed shoes for the occasion.

 

“One two three, one two three, eyes up here Steve.” He glanced up before returning his gaze to the floor.

 

“How else will I know what my feet are doing?”

 

“Women prefer it when you pay attention to them. Plus, Scarlet Hulk seems like a tough girl. Now, twirl me.”

 

“But—“

 

“I said twirl!”

 

Steve bet Darcy wasn’t having this much trouble.

 

* * *

 

 

Steve surely wasn’t having this much trouble, Darcy though as she held up a little number in black. Looking in the mirror, she pursed her lips in thought. Might not be the most appropriate thing for a Stark Gala.

 

“Yeah, no.” Jane agreed. Putting it away, the assistant held up another one. “Okay, what the heck is that?”

 

“The girl at the store said neon was in.”

 

“She was obviously on commission.” Besides the obvious poor decision, the neon had been the last dress in her closet.

 

“Ugh!” She flopped down onto the bed, all but yelling her anger into the comforter. At least she was a Hulk now and could do that with a legitimate excuse.

 

“Hey, you’re the one who asked the man to a fancy dress ball…thing.” Jane waved her hand absently. There was a knock on the door.

 

“Jane could you get that please?” Darcy was considering the validity of petty theft at short notice when Jane came in carrying a white box.

 

“Special delivery,” She announced, not even joking. "And it looks like a dress box.”

 

“Is there a card?” Darcy got off the bed.

 

“Bippidy, boppity boo.” Was all it read.

 

“Cinderella. It’s from Stark.”

 

“He knows?” Jane asked, concerned for her friend.

 

“Yeah. He came here last night saying he always wanted to play fairy godfather. Among other things.” She decided to neglect to mention the fact he wanted first dibs on all the juicy details between her and Steve. But then she pulled back the wrapping paper.

 

“Oh. My. Gods.” The two women said as one. And it was warranted. Holding it up, it was an icy blue evening gown with a sweetheart strapless neckline and a column skirt that flowed elegantly to the floor. The tight bodice had some sort of crystal or gemstone decoration that was tasteful without being gaudy.

 

“Are those real crystals?” Jane asked, eyes wide.

 

“Who cares, I’m trying this puppy on.” It highlighted her curves well, and was easy to move in, though she wasn’t so sure if it would be easy to hulk-out in, as it probably cost at least half her college tuition.

 

“How’d he know my size?” Darcy scrunched up her nose.

 

 _“If I may, Miss Lewis,”_ JARVIS interrupted, _“I was the one who took your measurements. If I have offended, or breached your privacy, I apologize.”_ The AI sounded genuinely sorry, unlike sarcastic whenever he ‘apologized’ to his creator.

 

Darcy breathed and gave a soft smile. “No, Jay, it’s fine. Though do let me know next time though, alright? And tell the Iron Godfather thank you.”

 

_“Of course, Miss Lewis.”_


	8. The Gala Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Double update!
> 
> We finally get some action! Now, forgive me, I'm not that great at writing action scenes.

Despite the necessity of ‘schmoozing and boozing’ as Tony put it, Steve really wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Scarlet even if it was for a good cause. Then again, it’s not like he had any better ideas. Coney Island hotdogs and the Cyclone (did they even still have that?) had paled in comparison to this, no matter his own feelings on such an event.

 

Despite the fact that there was no chatter for any potential attacks on the Stark Gala and the fact that Barton had assured that he would cover for him if anything came up, Steve’s shield had been tucked away in a nearby alcove, just in case he needed it. As much as he wished he was in his fight suit, at least it wasn’t a tux. After getting defrosted, and honorably discharged with receiving tons upon tons of back pay, Steve had received special dispensation from the Army to keep his dress uniform.

 

The gala was held in the ballroom area of one of _many_ other buildings that Tony Stark owned. It was big, well-lit, and an upper level of balconies where one could socialize watch the dancing and not get dragged into said dancing. Despite Natasha’s best efforts, Steve was still going to avoid dancing if he could, even if he had found the ‘right partner’ as he had so hoped.

 

He remembered the last time he had a date in the conventional sense.

 

_“There’s thirteen million women here,”_

_“Well I’d settle for just one.”_

_“Don’t worry, I took care of that.” Bucky waved. Someone in the crowd waved back. Someone decidedly female looking._

_“Hey Bucky!” Said decidedly female looking person said._

_“What’d you tell her about me?”_

_“Only the good stuff.” Steve nervously brushed a piece of his slightly too long blonde hair out of his eyes._

 

He was beginning to freak himself out, when a woman with dark curls entered wearing a lovely blue dress. It hugged her curves in just the right way, and was conservative but still sexy. Looking around, she caught his eye, and smiled. _Please be her, Please be her, Please be her…_

 

She walked up to him, and he was sure she was at least vaguely familiar. "You know, this is the second time we've met for the first time and you have the exact same look on your face." She said, her voice barely above a whisper.

 

"Wha-" then it clicked into place. He smiled. "Scarlet."

 

"Well, here it's Darcy." She smiled back.

 

"Beautiful...name! I mean..." He barely suppressed the urge to slap himself. "Then here it’s Steve." He held out his arm. She looped hers through it. He couldn’t help but compare the two forms of the woman before him. Scarlet Hulk was large, standing an easy seven feet tall, dwarfing even his enhanced stature. Darcy’s head only came up to his shoulder now. Her eyes were a nice shade of green, instead of yellow, but they still contained an air of mischief.

 

“Well then _Steve_ , save a dance for me?” She asked, only half teasing.

 

“No thank you.” Steve replied quickly.

 

“Oh,” there was no mistaking the disappointment in her voice. “Okay, we can just—“

 

“Sorry.” Steve tried to amend, cringing at his own behavior “But I’ve been asked that question so many times it’s become automatic at this point. Besides, I’m not a big dancer.” If there was one thing he learned with Black Widow, it was that he was an even worse dancer than he thought, and cringed at the thought of him embarrassing himself on the dance floor in front of everyone, and more importantly, Darcy.

 

She gave a soft, understanding smile. “No problem, I only really came here for the free food anyway. The buffet’s calling my name.”

 

"I could eat." Steve smiled back at her. He literally couldn't stop smiling. The suit, the party, everything unpleasant about the evening faded from his mind as they made their way to the food on the table.

 

After enjoying the buffet, they just kind of walked around, talking and enjoying each other’s company. He found Darcy to be just as funny, charming, and quirky as her red counterpart was. Their banter flowed easily from music, to non-traditional tacos that she swore were the best thing since sliced bread, to what modes of transport could be considered Hulk-safe. Planes and helicopters were fine, so long as no one tried to push her off of one (huh?). Cars, also fine if they let her have control of the radio. Public transport, highly questionable, especially if a perv thought it was okay to grab her chest or ass and wouldn’t piss off at the sight of her mighty Taser. That lead into a discussion of how she met Thor, tased him, and they were now best friends.

 

“So, after graduation, I decided to stay on with Jane as her assistant, rather than intern.”

 

“And he’s the friend who was supportive of your…new hobby.”

 

“Yes, he said something along the lines of my great heart with great strength would lead me to perform many ‘great feats’.”

 

“He forgot your great beauty.” They stopped walking in a corner. “And I may I say Miss Darcy Lewis, how lovely you look tonight?” She ducked her head down and blushed with a smile.

 

“Thank you, the dress was a gift.” She looked down. “I just hope nothing happens to it, because I honestly don’t know if I would rather hulk out in my underwear, or ruin a dress that probably cost more than my college tuition.”

 

"I've been meaning to ask about that, what's it like when you transform?" He hoped she wouldn’t be uncomfortable with the question, as Dr. Banner clearly was when anything about ‘The Other Guy’ came up.

 

She searched for a way to describe it. "Hmm...well, my skin gets all tingly, then I feel warm all over...after that I don't know how to describe it other than I start feelin'  _real_  good."

 

"Nice to know, because, from what I've seen of Dr. Banner, it looks...unpleasant." He couldn't help but remember his own transformation, the gut wrenching agony of feeling his bones grow, and his muscles and tendons be torn to shreds then put back together.

 

That was when wall exploded inward.

 

“What the hell?” They ran to the balcony, only to see a giant, dark green lizard-like _thing_ saunter into the building.

 

“Blonsky.” His brain supplied. Emil Blonsky, Captain with the Royal Marines before joining Ross. Became the Abomination after meeting scientist Samuel Sterns. Tangled with the Hulk and lost, but it was a _very_ close fight, and one that almost leveled Harlem in the process. Summary: highly trained, super strong, and with a possible vendetta against Banner.

 

Darcy was definitely _not_ trained, and he had no idea if she was as strong as the Hulk or not. He was torn. Darcy could take care of herself, but this was _not_ an enemy to be taken lightly. Or alone, for that matter.

 

“Abomination.” Darcy breathed, obviously just as pleased as he was at the appearance of the gamma-enhanced soldier. He recognized her expression, it was one the Howling Commandoes had right before a mission. Anticipation mixed with dread and just a hint of fear. He had a feeling that if he looked in a mirror, he would see the exact same thing on his own features.

 

“Tony?” He yelled down, seeing the billionaire shield Pepper while tapping at his comm link. Steve had foregone his for the evening.

 

“Comms down, I can’t get Veronica.” Veronica? Oh right. Hulkbuster armor.

 

Abomination seemed content to merely stand around looking menacing before a green skinned man with a freakishly big head in some sort of robot that looked kind of like a crab.

 

“Your machines are nothing compared to my glorious creations, Stark. The only thing you can stop a Hulk with is another Hulk.” The pickle-headed man said. “And I know Bruce Banner isn’t with you tonight. Leaving you all at the mercy of I, the Leader.” She supposed that was her cue.

 

She hoped to god Stark had a Hulk out in mind when he gave her the dress. She backed further into the corner to avoid being seen by others, and Steve right beside her. In the next instant, she began to expand, to change. She groaned as her smooth limbs became heavy with bulging muscles. Her dimensions expanded at a startling rate. Red flashed out from her eyes to spread across her body as she grew. When her transformation was complete, she stood almost as tall as Hulk, her skin as red as his was green, and her eyes, no longer green, glowed with a familiar golden light.

 

The bodice had detached from the skirt, leaving everything covered that needed to be, and the skirt no longer sweeping the floor so she could comfortable move.

 

He blinked.

 

“I have nothing.” Steve admitted. That was…amazing and horrifying and…a dozen other adjectives he’d have time to think of later. Especially when he suddenly felt her lips on his.

 

“For luck.” She whispered.

 

“Got get ‘em.” He encouraged with a smile, and ran off to go get his shield, willing himself to have faith in his best girl’s abilities, even while it killed him to have to run off and leave her with those creatures for the moment.

 

“Hey ugly!” The Abomination turned. The Scarlet Hulk jumped down from the balcony, hitting the creature feet first. (They should put _that_ on the cover of comic books, Steve decided. He’d draw it up later).

 

Before she could counter with another blow, the crab thing picked her up in its claws and brought it level to the smaller, big-headed man’s face.

 

"Ah, and the Scarlet Hulk finally makes an appearance. Now I can finally reap the benefits of the experiment.”

 

“What are you blabbering on about?” While in her admittedly short tenure as a hero, she’d come across enough egocentric villains to know that he’d get to the explanation part soon enough.

 

“The fateful explosion that gave you your god-like strength, what did you think it was?”

 

“Dr. Ross told me it was a Gamma Reactor meltdown.” She furrowed her eyebrows.

 

The ‘Leader’ chuckled. “I shouldn’t be surprised. The General’s been lying to his daughter for so long, he doesn’t know how to tell the truth anymore.”

 

Scarlet Hulk rolled her eyes. “Could you do us all a favor and just skip to the revelation part of your speech?”

 

“Fine.” He sighed. “First, that wasn’t a gamma reactor, but instead Ross’ foolish attempt at a gamma energy bomb.” Well, that was something Tony was certainly going to have a word with him about that. “Secondly, that bomb was designed by one Dr. Bruce Banner,” Okay, two things. “And last but _certainly_ not least, it wasn’t an accident. It was almost too easy, really. A couple crossed wires, and boom, it goes off before anyone’s the wiser, with the General’s precious daughter caught in the middle. There was so much lovely mysterious bio matter coursing through it, how could I not investigate its effects—on a live subject, of course. Dr. Ross would have been preferred--the world's second most expert on Gamma Radiation at my mercy. But you, my dear, have been a truly worthwhile investment." He brought her close. Darcy wrinkled her nose, as if smelling something bad.

 

"Get your hands off my girl!" Captain America threw his mighty shield, severing the arm of the mechanical claw.

 

"Your girl?" Darcy asked, landing on the floor.

 

"It just came out." He admitted, the tips of his ears going red.

 

"No, it's...nice." She smiled, as they ran, taking the fight outside, then ducked behind the shrubbery with one Tony Stark.

 

“You have a plan?”

 

“Working on it.” He chanced a look over the bushes. Luckily, they still hadn’t been spotted.

 

“Aren’t you the trademarked Man with a Plan?” They turned to see Tony quietly climbing out the window beside them.

 

“Stark get out of here. Without your armor you don’t stand a chance against the Abomination.”

 

“I have the second best thing, a plan. Cap, get the Leader. His robot’s big and tough, but it’s slow. Go for the joints, expose circuitry and mess it up, your shield will do most of the work.” His attention turned to the Hulkess. “Scarlet, you got Abomination. Besides his strength, Hulk defeated him by being unpredictable. Do the same.”

 

She breathed in. “Got it.”

 

“You were foolish to face me alone.”

 

“I’ve done a lot of foolish things.” Running out of the fallout shelter for one. She had just noticed Dr. Ross, walking at a leisurely pace, seeming not to notice the incoming wave of energy behind her. So Darcy had run out, grabbed the woman by the wrist, and took her back to the shelter. As the big metal blast doors began to close, Darcy made another incredibly stupid decision. She pushed Ross in ahead of her, the scientist just made it in before the doors closed with a final, dooming thud.

 

Darcy had closed her eyes, and waited for Valhalla.

 

She had opened them changed forever.

 

So yeah, she had made some foolish decisions, but they all lead her to this, facing off against the Creature from the Black Lagoon’s steroid-abusing cousin for the title of the second strongest being on earth. Because Darcy had self-confidence in spades, but no way she was as strong as the Hulk.

 

She punched him in the face. “Won’t stop me from kicking your ass though.”

 

Yeah, she would have to start coming up with better quips in the future.


	9. The Gala Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I still stink at writing battle scenes!
> 
> Should I include a post-credit scene?
> 
> Let me know in the comments!

Her stance was off, Steve noticed. The only thing making her punches work was the strength behind them. He’d have to teach her how to throw a proper punch when this was all over.

 

 _Focus Rogers,_ he commanded himself. Tony had been right about Leader’s robot. It wasn’t too fast, but it was still dangerous. Pushing down his fear for Darcy, Steve tried to focus on the task at hand.

 

Besides, he had an urge sock the green fucker right in the jaw. The feeling only grew when he heard Darcy groan and a crash.

 

Maybe two punches.

 

* * *

 

 

“You’re a lot more durable than I’d give you credit for.” He punched her in the stomach, sending her into a telephone pole. “Normally, a single blow from me would be enough to—“

 

“What? Kill me?” Darcy spit out some blood and wiped her mouth, feeling her healing factor taking care of her. “You’re not going to do that, Blonsky. ‘Cause me hitting you? That’s the closest you’ll ever come to a woman _wanting_ to touch you again.”

 

That threw him off. “That’s…not…true.” But it was, and that little kernel of truth gave her enough of a window for three quick strikes. Darcy didn’t know much about nerve clusters, but she knew they were where she needed to hit him. Cheap shots probably, but she had to win.

 

“You hit like a girl.” Blonsky spat out. Darcy started to get angry. Really, _really_ angry.

 

“I AM a girl!” She all but snarled, and in a shot reminiscent of the Captain America USO show, she socked ‘ole Blonsky square in the jaw, channeling all of her strength into the punch. The force of it sent Abomination into the wall, re-entering the gala hall, the shards of mirror exploding around him.

 

“Holy crap.” Was really all Steve had. The Incredible Hulk, strongest being on the planet, and possibly the entire _universe_ had trouble defeating the Abomination. The Scarlet Hulk, without the benefit of a super soldier serum (bastardized or otherwise) or even any real formal training was, as she said, kicking his ass.

 

“Fascinating.” The Leader commented, now securely bound and sporting a bruise around his right eye.

 

“Listen up, maggot, because I’m about to school you on a little something called the Pecking Order.” She kneed him right in the family jewels.

 

“Did she just say pecking order?” Steve asked. Tony shushed, having reappeared now that the Leader was dealt with, and curious as to where she was going with this. They strayed out of sight after that, but could still be clearly heard.

 

“It goes: Hulk.” There was a sickening crunch of bone.

 

“Me,” another hit.

 

“The Avengers.” Bash.

 

“Worms.” Mash.

 

“The dirt the worms live in.” Crash.

 

“Then you.” _Smash._

 

There were a few more growls, and each landed hit sounded loud as a gunshot. Steve readied his shield, wanting to believe in Darcy, but preparing himself for the worst.

 

The Scarlet Hulk stepped out of the rubble, her face impassive, and dragging the Abomination behind her like a sack of potatoes. Her dress was now little more than a few blue scraps loosely tied together to preserve her modesty, and a tranquil fury boiled underneath her skin. The Incredible Hulk was pure white hot rage, an uncontrollable wildfire. Darcy…no, the Scarlet Hulk…she was something else entirely. There wasn’t rage, or even really anger there. It was deeper than anger…colder. She was pure ice, more frozen than the arctic they pulled him out of.

 

Steve honestly wasn’t sure which he feared more.

 

She threw Blonsky at Sterns feet. The scientist flinched back, scuttling until he reached the wall, looking fearful. Steve didn’t blame him, but sure didn’t pity him.

 

"You're supposed to be a super genius, so tell me, what does a ruined date, plus a destroyed  _new_  dress, squared by a pissed off Hulkess equal?" Her voice was ice cold, but there was a hint of the old Hulk fire running underneath.

 

There was a part of Stern's brain that just couldn't help but tackle math problems. The result did not bode well for him.

 

* * *

 

After letting Darcy beat up Sterns for a little bit (nothing fatal, Natasha recommended) they had SHIELD agents drag him off for questioning and hopefully prison. Abomination, similarly curb-stomped, was hopefully going to be placed in a better prison than before. Despite the fight being over, Darcy had stayed in Scarlet Hulk for a while, still a bit antsy in the presence of so many SHIELD agents. Steve had stayed by her side through all of it, wanting to stay as close as possible before he absolutely _had_ to be called away for SHIELD reports and debriefings.

 

“Aw, Pepper helped me with that one.” Tony mourned at the state of Darcy’s dress. “At least it died for a worth cause.”

 

“Wait, you gave her that dress?” Steve asked.

 

“Kind of. I was experimenting with this new material that could potentially stretch enough to accommodate a hulk-out without becoming baggy or ripped.”

 

“And it worked too, unfortunately your design didn’t accommodate for gamma psychos with robotic crab pinchers.” Steve willed his jaw not to drop. Having simmered down back to her normal size, Darcy was now basically hugging the scraps of her dress to her chest, her panties the only article of clothing left completely intact.

 

"Don't worry, I got you." Pepper appeared from the chaos, and handed her a duffle bad of clothes. Darcy gratefully turned around, pulling on the sports bra and black tank top, wrangling the fabric around her ample chest.

 

Not that Steve watched her do that.

 

Because he definitely didn’t watch her do that.

 

Just like he didn’t take in the expanse of her legs or the planes of her back and shoulders. Didn’t begin cataloging freckles and scars that were suddenly on display.

 

Nope. Didn’t do any of those things.

 

And he definitely wasn't so embarrassed for doing said things that he finally agreed to have a word with the head agent on the scene.

 

* * *

 

 

"I loved the part where you threatened to squash his head in like Obyren Martell." Tony smiled after Darcy was now wearing clothes. He was trying to make her feel better, and she appreciated it.

 

"Yeah," Darcy nodded absently, obviously still a little out of it.

 

“Though, maybe next date night—and this is just a suggestion—maybe try something a lot more low-key, like movies. Or a board game.”

 

“Totally.” Still unfocused.

 

"You okay, kid?" Iron Man was genuinely concerned now, and Darcy was weirdly happy he was concerned for her. She looked him in the eye and responded with a lazy smile.

 

“I gotta…grab some air.” Tony didn’t say anything, but merely nodded in understanding.

 

* * *

 

 

Darcy was leaning against the balcony railing, staring up absently at the night sky. The fact her accident hadn’t been an accident was something of a shocker, the fact she hadn’t been the target was less so.

 

She was average and ordinary, and until she became the Scarlet Hulk, her friends were the most interesting thing about her. There was no denying the wrench the exploding gamma reactor—scratch that, gamma bomb-- had thrown into her life, but Darcy honestly loved being a superhero, and wouldn’t trade it for anything.

 

"I thought I might find you out here." She turned. Steve walked out, uniform still prim and hair in place, even after all that’s happened. By Odin’s beard, she was dating Prince Charming.

 

"I just needed a little air. Tonight has been...interesting."

 

Music from speakers floated into the night air, a familiar melody from Darcy’s childhood.

 

“I may not have a chance to do this again so,” he gave a slight bow and offered his hand. “May I have this dance, my lady?”

 

“I thought you didn’t dance,” she took his hand and he pulled her close.

 

“For you, I’ll try.”

 

Fuck Prince Charming, Darcy had Steven Grant Rogers.

 

_I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream_

_I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam_

_And I know it’s true that visions are seldom all they seem,_

_But if I know you, I know what you’ll do—_

_You’ll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream…_


	10. Credit Scenes

**Mid Credit Scene:**

  _Gamma Base, undisclosed location..._

 

“Dr. Ross?” A servicemen asked. “Where would like us to put this?” He indicated a box full of wires and other parts that wouldn't look too out of place in a car repair shop.

“On the table should be fine, thank you.” He complied with a nod before leaving.

 

Dr. Betty Ross looked up from her notes and stared at the almost-completed machine looming in front of her. “Soon Bruce,” she muttered to herself, a bad habit of late. “Just hold out a little longer, and it’ll all be over soon.”

 

* * *

 

**End Credit Scene:**

_Stark Tower, New York..._

 

“ _Fuck this game!”_

 

The table went through the glass wall, landing in the hallway with a crash. Scattered among the shards of broken glass were slips of colored paper, tiny green and red buildings, and little metal figurines.

 

“No Bruce I will not calm down! Tony, where’d you get those pink fifties you cheating whore?! Don’t touch me Steve, Iron Man is a _cheating whore_!”

 

Maybe they shouldn’t have gone with Monopoly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join us next time for... THE RED, THE GREEN AND THE GAMMA IN-BETWEEN!
> 
> A dramatic retelling of a classic Hulk storyline featuring our favorite Gamma couples!
> 
> In the next adventure of THE SAVAGE SCARLET HULK

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!


End file.
